Chapter 5 continued: "Can i just make another appointment and come back tomorrow to see the 'fixer'" i asked desperately trying to find a way to avoid the risk of losing my life's work. "You'd have to sign these terms and conditions regardless." Apple had me by the you know whats. I knew it and they knew it. If i was going to have the chance of getting my #hackedmac fixed, it was a risk i would have to take. I asked to read the entire T&C because i wanted to see what other little nuggets could come back to haunt me. Here's the best (meaning worst) clause verbatim: Apple understands that your data may be valuable to you. Data loss during service is always a possibility and in some cases, data may be unrecoverable, erased or reformatted during service. For this reason, it is your sole responsibility to back up all existing data, software and/or programs from your product, and decide whether to erase any such data from your product prior to receiving service. APPLE IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR LOSS, RECOVERY, OR COMPROMISE OF DATA, SOFTWARE OR PROGRAMS OR LOSS OF USE OF YOUR PRODUCT OR OTHER EQUIPMENT ARISING OUT OF THE SERVICES PROVIDED BY APPLE.(emphasis mine)
Well Apple, it's official. I am now officially your public enemy #1! Not only have you made this process excruciatingly and unnecessarily difficult, you're also going to make me sign a waiver that says essentially if we destroy your data or break your #hackedmac while in our "care" you're sh!t outta luck. The proverbial cherry on top of a sh!t sundae. Applause Apple, you're now permanently a member of my sh!t list! Apple's response: meh, not our problem. It's your fault for allowing yourself to be hacked in the first place and not having the wherewithall to back up your data. Our Applelogies!
I stared at the "genius" in front of me for what seemed like days before scribbling my signature aggressively on his tablet. In hindsight, i should have just drawn an outline of my middle finger. "I'll get you a copy." he said matter of factly and scurried away to the back with my #hackedmac victoriously in hand. I took the time waiting for his return to commiserate with the other customers awaiting the fate of their misfit Apple devices. I use the word misfit intentionally because to Apple, a non-working Apple device doesn't belong in it's perfect version of the world and neither do unhappy customers. We're all castaways on the Island of Misfit Toys!
My "genius" returns after a 5 minute delay, with a copy of the waiver and a forced smile. "Here ya go, sir and sorry again for the inconvenience. We should be able to get you all squared away tomorrow and will give you a call when you can come back to get your Macbook." Gee thanks for the cold comfort, i'll be waiting nervously for your call. I gathered my things and started to head for the exit knowing i'd have to return to this place at least one more time. The thought of that made my skin crawl. As i walked out, I gestured at the forgotten couple who had been sitting across from me. "Please help these people!" I said to my "genius" with a glare. "They've been here for 5 hours!"