Monday, August 28, 2017

Mac Attack Chapter 6- Pyrrhic Victory

As originally posted on my FB page:

Before i get into what will likely be the final chapter in this saga, i'd like to share with everyone that my mom is home and is doing well! I spoke with her yesterday afternoon and she sounds healthy and happy to be able to sleep in her own bed. She's on no restrictions and for the most part, free to get back to her life with only some "minor" discomfort which won't last long. Thanks again to everyone who asked about her, prayed for her or generally shared concern. I think the positive energy has helped both her and me! Now, on to the 6th and final? chapter of the #hackmymac saga: Pyrhhic Victory
I woke up around 10am yesterday morning. This isn't uncommon for me. I'm a bit of a night owl and get a lot of my best work done after midnight. I lied awake in bed for roughly an hour and a half. This isn't uncommon either as i'm a firm believer in the wake up slow mentality. I typically use this time to check e-mails, read the news and practice my Spanish. (Yo estoy apriendo espanol!) 
While in the midst of a Spanish lesson, my Samsung S5 begins vibrating. I don't recognize the number so i let it go to voicemail. They'll leave a message if it's really important. They did and sure enough it was the Apple store. I listen to the message from a polite young man who said "Mr. Cole, i wanted to call you and let you know we were able to remove the firmware password from you computer and was able to log back in your machine. You can pick it up anytime today." After a moment of processing, these are the first 4 thoughts that crossed my mind in no particular order: 1)Is this over?, 2)wow, that was anti-climatic, 3)it won't be fixed before noon my @ss! and 4) Firmware? Is THAT what you're calling it?
I decided to carry on with my day as planned. Eat some breakfast, brush my teeth, etc. I also decided i wanted to post the 2nd half of Chapter 5 as well before i went to the Apple store. I wanted to remain true to the anger and frustration i've held onto throughout this enitre slow motion trainwreck just a little bit longer.
I arrived at the Apple store around 3pm and this being my 3rd visit i knew the drill so well i could practically do it blindfolded. I knew exactly where to park, who to speak to (the 1st person wearing an Apple t-shirt!) and where to wait for a "genius" to find me. The store was busy, but definitely not the EDM rave i walked into the Satudrday before. I didn't bother to sit down and didn't bother to pay any attention to what was being projected on the big screen. I'm here for one reason and one reason only.
I see my "genius" walking towards me and my heart skips a beat. Not because he was hot or anything (i honestly don't remember what he looks like), but because i knew this was the moment i had been waiting for for almost a week. "Mr. Cole, you're here to pick up your Macbook Air, correct?" he said having not yet been the direct object of my ire. "Yeah" i muttered still in somewhat disbelief that this nightmare was coming to an end. "Okay great, do you have your ID on you?" Really? You think after all of this i wouldn't have my ID on me? It's the one thing y'all told me i'd absolutely need before i ever stepped foot in this store the first time! "Sure." consciously choosing not to give a f*ck. I pulled it out and handed it to him. He grabbed it, but swear to God i don't think he even looked at it. After all of this, i half expected to be finger-printed, retinal scanned and anal probed! "Cool thanks. I'll be right back." he said disappearing into the #Appledungeon.
He soon re-emerged with my #hackedmac in hand. I couldn't believe my eyes! "Here ya go, sir. Why don't you open it up and try logging in." I took my #hackedmac like i was being handed a newborn, placed it on a block, opened it and there was my name on the log in screen. I shook with a mixture of exhaustion and anx as i struggled to remember my password. What if i put in the wrong password with this guy watching over my shoulder? Is he gonna snatch it back from me and gleefully pronounce "You've failed the final test! I claim your #hackedmac for the Genius Bar!" 
I typed in the correct password on the first try and battaboom battabing i'm in. I didn't know if i should laugh or cry or kiss the guy. In the end i did none of the above.
"You're all set. Anything else we can do for you?" No, you've done quite enough. I packed my #hackedmac back in my bag and headed towards the door. A polite young female associate said to have a nice day as i passed her. "You too." i said not really sure whether to respond at all. I walked out of the store feeling as triumphant as the United States after the second gulf war.
So there it is folks, the end of my long, exhausting, and costly battle with Apple and the "Genius Bar". I hope you've enjoyed it and if nothing else hope you've learned from my Apple experience. I most certainly have! For those wanting a little more, i'll post a prologue soon about my takeaways from this weeklong tale of ups and mostly downs. I want to take one final bite of the Apple before i close the (Mac) book for good!

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